I’ve been really hesitant to write anything regarding Jesus, or religion especially because it is so new to me and there are so many preconceived notions on “christians” that I myself once had a hard time not believing (which actually led me to not let myself fully believe in Christ because I thought I had to be conservative/evangelic/rigid/not being friends with non-christians, etc.) and it’s such a touchy topic and what rights or knowledge do I have on any of this? Then I remembered-I started this blog for me nobody else and frankly I’m pretty sure i’m the only one that reads it. I started this blog to share my heart, struggles, triumphs, loves, college, cooking, memories, this was started for me. I decided to get over my hang ups about writing personal content this is like an online scrapbook of what i’m dealing with and feeling and thinking about in the moment. Currently that has been some thoughts on God…
Jesus has been abundant in my life recently. Going from being raised catholic, turning seven and letting my stubbornness stop me from going to church, to becoming a self-proclaimed atheist all throughout middle school and high school while still secretly praying. Going into college and taking and running with every temptation brought my way as a freshman, to second semester of freshman year when a theology class knocked down the walls of what I thought being a christian meant and how it soooo wasn’t for me, to now-a college sophomore who is christian and figuring out what that means and looks like to me everyday.
I am most definitely still in the early stages of walking with God and listening and praying and changing my habits and behaviors to be more christlike. To make decisions that will bring me the most long-term happiness, joy, comfort, peace, love. This has not been easy and I have failed so many times, but the great thing? Jesus is always there to wipe the slate clean. No one is perfect because we’re human and flawed and he is there with unending love only wanting the best for you.
I’ve struggled my entire life with anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder and was always told by my mom (whose born and raised and practices Catholicism) that you can find such comfort in God and how this helped her tremendously with her own anxiety. This always stuck in the back of my mind even through the stubborn phases, when I was really anxious just praying. Flash forward to this year I joined my college’s chapter of Delight Ministries a women’s college ministry that meets weekly at my school and it has been the biggest factor in my spiritual growth by far. We were talking in small groups after going through that weeks chapter of the devotional we were working on and in that chapter it said “There is nothing you’re going through that God doesn’t know about and isn’t there for” wow. This brought such comfort over me and was another big point in my relationship with God.
Going into college was hard and full of temptation and I took it and ran. My freshman year and even this year were a little crazy and definitely full of regrettable moments and hardships and very “un-christian” actions that it always made me hesitant to read my bible, or join a college group because I felt like everyone would look at me and be like “you don’t act like a christian are you just being one of those girls who wants to be christian because its ‘cool’ or ‘popular'”. I was just so in my own head about what others were thinking of me all of freshman year that I let that stop me from having a relationship with God. I still do things that i’m trying to work on changing because they pull me away from Jesus and leave me feeling unsatisfied and bad about myself rather than lifting me up and replenishing me. Don’t let what you’re scared others are going to say about your mistakes and past stop you from getting to know Jesus if it’s on your heart.
It’s weird looking back to when I first felt myself desiring Jesus. At the time I didn’t even know why but I was always being drawn to worship music or christian profiles on instagram or different ministries I found online or books and people that were placed in my path. I’m so grateful and it feels so natural that this newfound spirituality has found me at a time when I really needed it and it’s guidance and I can’t help but attribute that to God because he knew exactly when I needed him and i’m so grateful to those around me who helped me listen to him.
Those are just a few thoughts lately on the ways that i’m seeing and the ways that Jesus is working in my life at this moment. I have forever more to go in the journey and so much closer to get to him. Below are some great websites, ministries, books, music, and people who have really influenced and guided me to Christ during this time of getting to know him and getting these desires placed on my heart.
I found this college ministry and resource for women last year when I saw a flyer for their very first conference in my dorm hallway. This was right when the desire to know Jesus sparked so I didn’t go to that conference as it was all very knew, but really started utilizing their blog as a resource. Fast forward to just this past January 2017 and I was able to attend their Live Salted Seattle conference which, was absolutely life changing-so much amazing truth and inspiration was spoken as well as amazing relationships were formed!
Over the summer when I was really starting to dig into this whole “God” thing I came across delight ministries on Instagram or something and could not stop thinking about how I wished my school had a chapter. Then in the fall I go back to school and got a facebook notification that our school was starting a chapter! SUCH a God moment (he seriously knows what you need before you do). Joining delight was so scary for me feeling so inadequate in my faith but oh my Lord it has been the best thing i’ve done. I’ve been blessed with such amazing girls who have helped me so much and continue to lift me up in so many ways, and just the community i’ve discovered is invaluable. Check if your school has a chapter and if not you can always start one! They also have an amazing blog as well as devotional books (which is what we go through during our weekly meetings amongst other things) that apply to college women that are written by fellow college students. Check. Them. Out.
Love Does by Bob Goff is a MUST READ! This book has such an infectious joy about it that it really helped show me what Christ is all about – Love. It helped to break down those preconceived notions I had, and I don’t even know how to describe it but to say go read it (:
I love reading other’s blogs and am always on the lookout if you know any great ones! The first blog is AujPoj by Audrey Roloff. This whole blog is rooted in Christ and she lives her life to exemplify him. Her spirit for life is also infectious and she shows a light and such a unique voice throughout her posts!
The Little Duck Wife by MaryKate Robertson also besides having amazing photography and adventures has had some great posts that are always rooted in the word (this is how I found my favorite technique for memorizing scripture!)
Now call me weird (seriously it’s fine all my friends do!) but I love mom blogs (yes i’m only 19 and in college). One of my favorite is Mix and Match Mama by Shay Shull who is a christian and is always sharing how God is working in her life (she also has the worlds cutest kiddos!).
I’m linking two of my favorite playlists full of worship music! Some playlists also contain songs that just help me feel closer to God or that I love to listen to while I journal, pray, write down prayers, etc.