I have not been putting in my time with the Lord in this season of life. I was in church last night and was really hit with just how much i’ve been slacking on pursuing the Lord. I’ve been putting so much before my time with God; school work, productivity, my relationship, my friendships, and all the little areas that make up daily life. But I will never have a fulfilling worthwhile life when i’m not pouring all I have into the one who gives me life.
How often do we put down our bible study and pick up our phones? How often do we skip prayer for at night for a few more minutes of extra sleep? I am so guilty of this. When life is busy and going great I seem to forget my need for my savior…
I don’t desire to be a christian. I desire to be in relationship with Christ. To know him intimately, to give him everything, and in return to get life to the fullest.
We were in church last night and the pastor brought up one of my favorite questions, “Do you want your strongest desire? Or do you want your deepest desire?” My strongest desires are fleeting. My strongest desire is surface level, it is instant gratification, and a lot of times it wins. My deepest desire is to love and glorify the Lord. That is hard when maybe you feel sin or temptation and that desire is so strong. But does that strong desire line up with my deepest? I think this is the question we need to be continually asking ourselves.
My deepest desire is laid out in Psalms 27:4;
The bible brings us back to our center. It unites us with Jesus through his living word. I was recently talking to someone, telling them that I have been struggling making Jesus a priority in my life and they go, “What do you mean?” I explained that I haven’t been in the word, I haven’t been doing bible study or daily devotions, and they didn’t see a problem with this. I was honestly pretty shocked, because out of anyone I would expect this person to understand why I was disheartened. The response I got was, “You go to church, you believe in Jesus, I don’t see you needing to do anything else.” This just made me hold steadfast to realizing what an issue not being in pursuit is.
Think of a romantic relationship. Would showing up for that person one day a week for an hour or so constitute a healthy, committed, growing relationship? Absolutely not. Would that person feel like a priority or of importance to you? Nope. They’d probably feel like your relationship is just another thing to check of your to-do list, another thing you should or have to do. Relationships are supposed to be intimate and ever evolving. If we believe that of our earthly relationships why doesn’t the same principle apply to the one that is the most important in our lives? I don’t believe God is mad at us when we don’t seek him. I think he is constantly looking at us lovingly, and urging us back to him, knowing the only way we’ll find peace and fulfillment is when we unite ourselves with him.
I’m truly seeing that I can’t show up for myself or others unless I show up for Jesus first. When I have my time with the Lord everything realigns. I honor my beliefs better, understand my convictions further, display more grace, live with more love, and more faithfully give thanks in all I do.
No matter what seems most demanding or important in my life, remembering that Jesus is the way and the life reminds me to slow down and focus on the one who sustains it all.